January – 16th
February – 6th and 20th
March – 5th and 19th
April – 2nd and 16th
May – 21st
June – 4th and 18th
July – 2nd and 16th
August – 6th and 20th
September – 3rd and 17th
October – 1st and 15th
November – 5th and 19th
December – 3rd and 17th

Step Back and Breathe

Count to ten before you say or do anything and be mindful of your breathing. If you still don’t feel calm, count to ten again…and breathe.

Ask yourself:

• What am I angry about?
• What is hurting me?
• What is going on that is not ok for me?
• Did this person intend to hurt me?

When possible, remove yourself from the source of the stress and anger

Go for a walk or exercise. Moderate physical activity can be a productive outlet for your emotions. Besides releasing pent-up energy, your general physical feeling will improve.

Avoid emotionally charged and strenuous workouts, they can feed into the anger.

Imagine a calm relaxing scene.

• Remember a time when you felt at peace.
• Close your eyes, and travel back there.
• Allow yourself to be there for a while and feel yourself release.

Empathize with the other person.

• Try to see the situation from his or her point of view.
• Remember that there is always more than one way to see anything.

Write in a journal. Keep track of your anger:

• What did “I” get angry about?
• What did “I” do or say in response?
• How did “I” feel, physically and emotionally?

By identifying your sources of anger, you can learn to anticipate and respond to anger situations.

Use “I” statements when talking about the problem or situation instead of criticizing or blaming the other person. “I” am upset that the kitchen didn’t get cleaned after dinner,” instead of “Why is the kitchen still a mess?”, or “You should have cleaned it!”

Stop Brooding or Stewing. “Mind talk” is a major anger signal and one of the most destructive things you can do to yourself.

• Rage starts when you lose control of your own thoughts or feelings.
• You can control what you say.
• Talk to the person you have anger with.
• Share your feelings with a close friend or family member.
• Seek professional help by CONTACTING ME

Suggest Reading List

• A Book About Men
  Bly, Robert. Addison-Wesley, 1990
• A Circle of Men: (A Manual for Men’s Support Groups).
  Kauth, Bill. St. Martin’s Press, 1992
• A Little Book on Human Shadow
  Bly, Robert. Harper & Row 1998
• Emotional Intelligence
  Goleman, Daniel. Bantam Books, 1995
• Facing Shame: (Families in Recovery)
  Fossom, Merle A,, Mason, Marilyn J. N.P.: W.W. Norton & Company Ltd. 1989
• From Innocence to Entitlement,: (A Love and Logic Cure for the Tragedy of Entitlement)
  Fay, Jim. Love and Logic Press 2005
• Getting the Love You Want
  Hendrix, Harville PhD: Hunt Helen LaKelly, PhD
• Hazards of Being Male
  Goldberg, Herb.: N.P.: Wellness Institute
• Knights Without Armor: (A Practical Guide for Men in Quest of Masculine Soul)
  Kipnis, Aaron R. Tarcher 1991
• Receiving Love: (Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself be Loved)
  Hendrix, Harville PhD: Hunt Helen LaKelly, Ph.D.
• The Four Agreements: (A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)
  Ruiz, Miguel. Amber-Allen, 1997
• The Intimate Enemy: (How to Fight Fair in Love and Marriage)
  Bach, George Robert & Wyden, Peter.. N.P..Morrow 1969
• The Myth of Male Power: (Why Men are the Disposable Sex)
  Farrell, Warren. Simon & Shuster 1993
• The Road Less Traveled
  Peck, Scott M. Simon & Schuster 1993
• Your Perfect Right: (A Guide to Assertive Living)
  Alberti, Robert E. Impact Publishers 1986
• When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: (Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy)
  Smith, Manuel J., Dial Press 1975

This self-test is intended to help you reflect upon your anger issues in new ways. Don’t think too hard about the answers. There are no right answers. If you aren’t sure, go with your first guess.
At work…

1. Do you feel your boss respects you?
2. Do you respect your boss?
3. Do you feel your boss treats you fairly compared to other employees?
4. Are you free from control issues at work?
5. Do you feel your boss sees you as successful?
6. Do you feel you are adequately trained for your job?
7. Do you feel that you get cooperation on the job?
8. Do you understand new instructions within the given time frame?
9. Do you feel you can ask questions comfortably?
10. Do you get promotions in a timely manner?
11. Do you feel your co-workers, boss, or company treat you fairly?
12. Do you feel respected in your workplace?

Three or more “no” answers indicate an anger pattern and you may have an anger problem.

An anger problem is any anger-related behavior (verbal, physical, or emotional) that hurts you or someone else.

Please visit the tips page for information on dealing with anger problems.

This self-test is intended to help you reflect upon your anger issues in new ways. Don’t think too hard about the answers. There are no right answers. If you aren’t sure, go with your first guess.
As a child…

1. Was it bad or wrong for you to be angry?
2. Did you feel disrespected?
3. Did your parents show disrespect for each other?
4. Did your parents yell or criticise when they were angry?
5. Did your parents withdraw when they got angry?
6. Did you experience rage or violence?
7. Did you feel criticised?
8. Were your parents not listened to?
9. Did you have difficulty getting along with your parents and siblings?
10. Were you judged by your parents?
11. Did you lose a sibling or parent?
12. Did you feel unsafe, physical or emotionally, in your parents’ home?
13. Sid you need to be successful?
14. Did you think anger and rage are the same thing?

As an adult…

15. Do you still think anger and rage is the same thing?
16. Do you still feel hurt by people’s judgment?
17. Are you angry with yourself when you can’t express yourself well?
18. Do you still feel criticised?

Three or more “yes” answers indicate an anger pattern and you may have an anger problem.

An anger problem is any anger-related behavior (verbal, physical, or emotional) that hurts you or someone else.

Please visit the tips page for information on dealing with anger problems.

This self-test is intended to help you reflect upon your anger issues in new ways. Don’t think too hard about the answers. There are no right answers. If you aren’t sure, go with your first guess.
With your friends and family, do you?

1. Act without thinking?
2. Think without acting?
3. Get defensive if somebody gets angry with you?
4. Assume others should act in a certain way?
5. Solve other people’s problems?
6. Need to feel you are successful?
7. Cut yourself off from another person for years at a time?
8. Interrupt others while they are talking?
9. Use sex as a weapon when you are angry?
10. Feel at times like you are a victim?
11. Make the same mistakes over and over again?
12. Usually put others first in your life?
13. Feel treated as if you are incompetent?
14. Hear your parent’s words coming from your mouth when you are stressed?
15. Worry a lot and are unable to stop worrying?
16. Feel it helps to worry?
17. Not know how to relieve your anger?
18. Confuse the difference between shame and guilt?

Three or more “yes” answers indicate an anger pattern and you may have an anger problem.

An anger problem is any anger-related behavior (verbal, physical, or emotional) that hurts you or someone else.

You simply turn up; there is no appointment or referral necessary. The group is completely confidential and there is no registration process of who attends.

Will I have to tell the group about my experiences?

No. There is no pressure to talk about anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Some group members simply listen to other peoples’ experiences around anger and offer their support. It is the choice of the individual member when they are ready to talk.

Can I just turn up?

Although the group operates on a ‘drop in’ basis, we do ask that where possible members arrive by 7.30pm and stay for the full session in order to avoid disruption and show respect to others who may be talking about difficult situations. However, if you do need to leave earlier than 9pm, please inform the group on arrival.

Tell me more about the group ‘facilitator’

The group is facilitated by Margaret Hall who has personally experienced issues around anger. Margaret is qualified Counsellor and Adult Teacher. She is also an EFT Practitioner, Hypnotherapist, and Life Coach.

I feel quite nervous about coming along for the first time.

It is natural to feel nervous, but please try to be reassured that everyone feels like this initially. The group is friendly and supportive and will offer you a warm welcome. Please remember that everyone in the group has a personal understanding of anger and the issues involved.

Will I have to attend every session?

Not at all. Some people attend the group as and when they need support and some attend regularly. It is the personal choice of the group member when they wish to attend.

Time: 7.30pm – 9.00pm

When: First and Third Monday of each month

(Excluding Public Holidays)

Contact the facilitator – Margaret Hall – to find out more on

0161 487 1688 or 07890 909547

Email:wasp@e-motions.org.uk

Web: http://e-motions.org.uk

or check out my comment, which contains info from our leaflet.